


Treat You Better

by WatchOverYourAssButt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Abusive boyfriend, Bisexual Dean, Coming Out, Demisexual Castiel, Friends to Lovers, Gen, HS AU, It ends happy I promise, M/M, Some Queer Slurs, some homophobia, totally inspired by Shawn Mendes song i'm not even ashamed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:15:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8456740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchOverYourAssButt/pseuds/WatchOverYourAssButt
Summary: Castiel's feelings stay hidden as his friend comes out and manages to find a boyfriend, because Dean's happy, so Castiel is as well. But that changes when things become less than perfect between Dean and his boyfriend, and Castiel is finding it hard to just sit by anymore.





	

_I'll stop time for you_   
_The second you say you'd like me to_   
_I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing_   
_Baby, just to wake up with you_   
_Would be everything I need and this could be so different_   
_Tell me what you want to do_

_I know I can treat you better_   
_Better than he can_

 

 

 

Castiel was happy. Generally. He was happy, he really _was_.

His best friend, of many years, had finally gotten the courage and moment to come out. The usual social impact was somewhat of a blow, but he could still deal with it. His father hadn’t taken it too well, and it caused more prominent problems between his parents, but Dean’s mother and brother made up for that with their support, acceptance, and love. Mostly.

Dean tells Cas that his support does the most for him. He says it’s because Cas is able to understand better than his mom and Sam. Cas thinks it’s because that, AND the fact that Dean’s been out to him for a few years now, so there’s already a knowing acceptance. By now, Cas knew Dean’s type, celebrity crushes, little fantasies, and that secret and sacred fact that Dean thinks he wants to end up with a man.

Sure, he came out as bi—he’s adored and wanted girls for years, and he’s had his fun times with them. But, even still holding the attraction and affection he can manage with women, he felt like he had a preference. The best way he’d managed to explain it, is when he looks to the future, he imagines being in a home, with a husband, cuddling up with such a firm, warm presence at night, waking up to a stubble-covered face and strong features looking back to him.

Dean had said he knew, it could just be built up desire, due to his lack of experience with men. But he realized he’d had thoughts like this even before he came active with girls.

Dean knew. And he wanted to make up for lost experiences, since all he’d had before was his hand, queer porn, and a one time, fleeting kiss initiated by him, an emotional and confusing experience with Castiel himself during one of their camping trips that usual came from a rough day, and usually brought snuck beverages. Dean had apologized a million times, and Cas had reassured there was no need to, but never explained why.

So when Dean (who has forever dealt with problems of self-doubt and self-worth, which was doubled when it came to the love or affection of a man) finally found someone?

Cas was happy.

He was happy when Dean told him about the senior who had been talking to him in the halls, flirting, learning about him. He was happy when Dean called him, giddy, and stumbling to tell him he got asked to the senior prom by Michael Shurley, idol of the school baseball team and intellectual heart-throb, and when Dean called again when he was responsibly dropped off afterwards. Dean had told him how his dad was initially put off, but Michael’s respectful nature and his mother’s scolding had shut him up. Dean then went on to gush about the experience. He’d been nervous, embarrassed, and honestly scared. But Michael was so patient, understanding, and reassuring. He told him how amazing the dance was. He’d told Cas he was so happy to have him as a friend, how it meant so much for Cas to listen to him gush like a school girl and not make fun of him.

Cas was happy. No matter if he dreamt that very night of sweeping Dean off his feet; he was happy, to be Dean’s friend, and to be there for him like this. The alternative fantasies and scenarios didn’t matter nor did the ache of not being the one himself, not being worthy himself, for Dean.

Dean was happy, and so, Cas would be, too.

But it was after that dance, and a few of Dean’s first couple of dates, the last being one that brought a kiss he’d described as fleeting but warm and good, that things started to change.

Dean said he was happy, and most of the time he could act like it. But Castiel was his best friend, and he knew better.

At first, it was small things. Castiel (who was ashamed with himself for this fact) had been too preoccupied trying to minimize his emotions and longings, and trying to remind himself of how much better things now were for Dean, that he didn’t notice. Dean talked less about how sweet Michael was, or how great it was being with him. It was too much of a relief not to feel tormented, Castiel never thought about why that had changed. Even the few times he DID notice the lack of gushing, he thought they’d just got used to one another, so maybe the initial excitement was dying down. It HAD been two months.

But things were different. When they were apart, and someone would mention Michael’s name, Cas noticed Dean’s current smile would falter. It was there, and it was barely noticeable, but it was weaker.

When Michael came to sit with them at lunch, Dean was different then, too. That weaker smile was constantly present, but unless someone was talking with him, he was looking down.

No one noticed. No one but Cas.

And he hesitated to confront Dean on it. Why? Because Dean always told him when something was wrong, so if something was wrong, he would have told him by now, right? And then there was that voice of self-judgment in the back of his mind, telling him he was reading too much into it because he WANTED something to be wrong with their relationship.

So he hesitated.

Until the day he saw him, walling down the hall one day, looking utterly down-hearted. He hadn’t seen him look like that since he’d over-heard his dad talk about kicking him out in an argument with his mom.

Once school was over, he tried to speak to him, as they were on the way to the bus.

“Hey Dean?” he’d started.

“Hmm..?”

“Is…something going on?” Cas had asked carefully.

Dean had given him a questioning yet tired look. “No…I..what do you mean, why..do you ask?”

Castiel hesitated again. “I…I don’t know, you just seem…sad, down today. You haven’t looked that way in months.” He stated, and considered saying more. “And…just, yeah..”

“And just what?” Dean had known there was more.

Castiel had avoided his gaze as he went on. “Well, I…sorta noticed you’ve been acting…different. Around Michael.” He just barely saw Dean shift while he continued. “Like you never keep eye contact with us if you can help it, when he’s around. And…well, you don’t smile like you used to, when people mention him. And-”

“Cas…” Dean had cut him off, sounding exasperated. “Look, nothings up, don’t worry. I…I’m just…” Dean had struggled so much to explain, Castiel suspected the answer he finally came up with was a lie. “Michael says he might be going to college, once he graduations…out of state, so…so I’m..we’re just dealing with that. Don’t worry.”

 

That’s all Dean ever said, really. When the small things increased, he told Cas not to worry. When he caught them arguing, he told him not to worry, it wasn’t a big argument anyways. When Cas noticed Michael cutting him off when speaking, more and more, he tells him not to worry.

But Cas worried. He always worries. And now, his selfish pulling away was over, and all his attention was on Dean and his relationship and what was really going on. Because that was his best friend, and he was worried.

He tried to hang around them more, at least when Dean seemed happy about it. But eventually, Cas started noticing looks from Michael. He noticed them even before Dean had, though he said nothing. Not until Michael started pulling them off elsewhere, giving some bullshit reason for privacy. Sometimes Dean tried to reason with him, because he wanted his friend around, and something he just shut up and went along with it.

It angered Cas deeply. That, and just the small, controlling traits he was noticing. He was controlling Dean’s time, his friends…

Eventually, he was beginning to notice the attempt of controlling Dean’s opinions and such. The fights came more when that started (Dean was not one to be made into a submissive sucker), before they died out. They came and went, and always worried Cas, but any time he tried to talk to Dean about it, Dean would say they worked it out.

Once, Cas was getting so worried that things were getting bad, abusive (emotional or physical), that he tried to carefully sneak the discussion across.

One of the few time Dean happened to get a ride on the bus with Cas (since Michael had taken to picking him up instead), he took the time to try and talk.

He tried to bring it across discreetly, saying he felt like they were seeing less of one another. Then he just tried to innocently ask how things were going with Michael. Dean was reassuring but short, so Cas didn’t entirely trust it. But then when Cas asked if he was sure, Dean caught on and ended the conversation then and there.

 

Castiel was feeling like he needed to resort to desperate measures, one of their camping trips maybe? But it was at this point that his mother decided she’d had enough of him hanging out with a queer. So she had his siblings spying on him at school (minus Gabriel, who was no longer suffering living in the realm of the bible beaters). And he wasn’t allowed to go visit him, either, so Castiel was left in anxious turmoil, until Sam came to visit one evening.

Dean and John had had a big fight, and Sam said it seemed like something was wrong between him and his boyfriend, too. Sam obviously only trusted Castiel to be able to help.

Castiel knew he couldn’t just sit around. So, against his parents’ wishes, he went to visit Dean, and he started with apologizing and explaining why he’d been gone. Dean acted so understanding, and then they were talking about Dean’s fight with his father. It went well, until Cas asked what was going wrong with Michael. He decided to lay out all his worries to Dean; that he was in an abusive relationship, that he was worried for Dean’s happiness. He even admitted in thinking Dean was settling with a shitty relationship because he didn’t feel worth more than the attention and possessiveness of an asshole who seemed as if he could be a reflection of Dean’s fathers worse traits and thoughts.

Of course, it didn’t come out perfectly, because he also accused Dean of not being honest with him.

That was his and Dean’s first real, intense fight. Sure, they’d had disagreements, and small pointless fights before, but those were nothing, childish and fleeting and barely an ounce of ill-will between them from it.

Cas hated this one.

“You think you know everything about me, huh?!” Dean had questioned heatedly.

“I know that you don’t seem happy anymore, Dean! And we barely talk anymore!”

“Oh, I’m sorry I’m not talking about my every day to you anymore, sorry I’m not keeping you entertained!”

Castiel had rolled his eyes. “I’d just deal with it, Dean, if I knew it was YOUR choice to stop talking to me!”

“It is..!”

Castiel would have been hurt, but he knew better. “Bullshit!” he had called him out. “You didn’t see, but I did. For whatever reason, Michael looks at me like a problem. He’d do that. And then he’d steer you away, and then we stopped hanging at lunch altogether!!”

Dean could only resort to pacing angrily.

So Cas had calmed himself and tried to go on. “Look, I…I’m not saying any of this, in judgment of you, at all… Dean, I’m just worried. You don’t deserve this.”

Dean had been silent, avoiding Castiel’s gaze before finally looking up at him with a gruff laugh. “Don’t I…?”

But Castiel never got the chance to tell him otherwise.

His mom pulled up then, and sent Raphael to collect him.

He’d never screamed at his family before, much less so much, and so honestly. Maybe that’s why they kicked him out. That, or him spitting in their face the fact that he was demisexual and loved Dean and that he was GOING to see him, no matter what they said or felt or did.

Either way, it didn’t matter. The school week was almost over, he was staying out in his and Dean’s old tent, and his brother Gabriel was getting him moved in with him next week.

But he did miss the first three days of that next week of school, just moving stuff and trying to get away from…everything that had happened.

Dean took notice, though he didn’t seem able to do any more than text Cas. And Cas got the feeling he would have to delete the texts after.

-Hey man. I’ve been meaning to text since what happened. I honestly don’t know what to say, and I know we both seemed angry… But you know I don’t WANT to stop talking to you, right? I never do, ever. Everything’s just so complicated, and confusing and intense, you know? But, I just wanted to check on you, cause you haven’t been at school from what I’ve seen. If you’ve just avoided me and I haven’t seen you, I understand, I know things are complicated with me, so I wouldn’t blame you.. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.-

Well, Cas didn’t hesitate to text back, because that’s the most open Dean had been in months.

-Hey, I’m not avoiding you. I never would, Dean. I’m sorry, about that night…where the conversation went and then having to leave. I’m mostly fine, just being dealing with some things.-

-What things?- Dean texted back immediately.

-Well, that night, I fought with…pretty much my whole household. They were judging you, me, trying to ban me from seeing you. So I just…well, bitched them out. I said a lot of things, things they didn’t like or expect. So they kicked me out. But I’m okay. I’m with Gabriel, finally got all my stuff moved, so I should be in school tomorrow. See you then?-

Well, when he got Dean’s text back, initially his stomach dropped at the beginning of the message, but he calmed as he read on.

-No, not then. Camp site in an hour? Let me know if you can’t make it.-

Cas was going to argue, mostly because he didn’t want to talk about himself. But maybe this was his chance. In all his times of trying to address Dean’s shitty relationship, he never got his real point, of trying to make Dean realize he was worth more, across. That he deserved better. He almost got there, and it was made apparent that night that Dean didn’t believe it, but Cas needed to elaborate. And he realized he hadn’t, because that would bring his emotions into the mix and he had been scared, still was a little; he had been scared to come out, he was scared of rejection, but now…he felt like it was time. He could be rejected and he wouldn’t care, he just needed Dean to know what his true worth was, and if he could help him see it, he’d do what he had to.

-I’ll meet you there, promise.-

He told Gabriel where he was going and when he thought he’d be back, and then left.

Cas brought his own drinks, just in case (as their escapes to their campsite usually entailed drinks, at least a few, to drown out a bad day(they only ever got buzzed)). Also, just in case, he brought clothes; just only if they ended up staying the night out there. He made sure his phone was with him before grabbing his bike and making his way.

Once he made it, he could hear music coming from the tent. He smiled. Dean had brought the radio; he loved when he brought that.

He lay his bike in the grass and made his way, dipping in with a shy hey, head ducked as he tossed his bag aside. When he looked up, he was met with a sudden, tight hug. He hadn’t been expecting it at all, but Dean was warm, and smelled nice, so he savored it, hugging back and releasing an almost sigh of relief before chuckling. “Hey, Dean.” He pulled back with a smile to him.

Dean smiled back, but it was small. He was obviously still very worried. “So…they seriously kicked you out…?”

Castiel nodded, but then shrugged. “Well…they pretty much said I wouldn’t be welcome there anymore, IF—I decided not to waste time listening to what the ‘if’ entailed, ‘cause I’m sure it was more of the same. So, instead of continuing to deal with the kicking out threats to try and convince me not to hang out with you, I left. Stayed here,” he looked around the tent, “for the rest of the week. Gabe got wind of what happened and didn’t hesitate. So I just took some days off for the moving and..emotional adjustment…”

Dean slowly nodded, taking it all in, before sighing. “Shit, Cas. I’m sorry.”

Castiel just shrugged. “You deal with the threat, too, with your dad. I just couldn’t put up with it, I guess. How is it with your dad, by the way?”

Dean gave a small smile, that seemed both proud and sad. “He’s stopped most of his bullshit, actually.”

Castiel’s eyes widened. “Really? How’d that happen, your mom do something?”

“No, actually…it was Sam.”

“Sam?” he asked, confused.

“Yeah. You know he’s dads favorite. Well, dad almost kicked me out one night after he caught me and Michael kissing and just…he just got pissed. Sam overheard the fight, and just…jumped in, said…’If Dean goes, so do I’.”

Castiel could see the whole situation left him in a pool of emotions. Happy, touched, sad that Sam did that. Probably sad and heartbroken that it worked, or was even needed.

“Sam’s pretty much demanded dad stop, and the kids intense enough to be taken seriously when he’s determined, and dad knows he’s smart enough to really do SOMETHING about the situation if it came to it…”

Castiel took a moment before speaking. “I’m sorry that was needed, but…I’m glad your dad is letting up…but he seriously got in a tissy over…over you and your boyfriend kissing..?” Castiel pressed, as how Dean had put it had sounded questionable before.

“No, he—we had a small…small disagreement, dad heard and was just judging me for even getting myself into the situation… It was a misunderstanding, really got mixed up is all. I-I don’t want to talk about that, let’s talk about you.” Dean dismissed, which didn’t make Cas feel any better, because that sounded like a bad experience between Dean and Michael. But Dean kept pressing about Castiel instead. “What…what happened, what pushed them over the edge?”

Castiel swallowed. _Admitting my sexuality, AND love for you,_ he thought. But what came out was, “Um…well, not sure what really hit them on the head with it, but it, uh…was somewhere between not agreeing to not hanging with you anymore….um, calling them judgmental, heartless pricks, and…yeah, admittingthatI’mdemisexual.” He said the last part very quickly, making it one word.

Dean’s eyes went wide at that. “You-you…what?”

“…What to which part?” Castiel tried to laugh it off, but he was blushing from embarrassment.

“The…well, I mean, all of it, but…Cas…” Dean said is name, almost sounding hurt when he did. “You’re demisexual, you never….why didn’t you ever tell me..?”

Castiel, still blushing, avoided Dean’s gaze, heart rate picking up a little. “I-I don’t know…I didn’t really start realizing it about myself until you started talking to me, about figuring out your own sexuality, and I started figuring it out a little then, but-”

“If you knew then, why didn’t you say?! You know I would’ve supported you, I…hell, I would have felt more comforted knowing I wasn’t alone, why-Cas, why wouldn’t you tell me?”

Dean seemed so hurt and Cas was so scared to admit the truth, it was stuck in his throat.

The radio started playing another song then, Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes, and Cas felt his stomach turn and churn with emotion and fear and inspiration; inspiration from the words he already knew from the song before they started playing, to at least make a change for Dean’s happiness, if not to get this truth out finally. Swallowing hard, he looked Dean in the eyes, and let the truth pour out.

“I realized my sexuality when you realized yours. I was scared to admit to it, t-to come out because…because I knew my family would be the shits they ended up being about it and because…y-you know how demisexuality works…?” Cas asked Dean.

Dean scoffed and slowly nodded. “I…yeah, something like you don’t experience sexual attraction unless you have a close relationship and..same for the romantic part too, I think, you…you have to have developed a deep and close relationship, before you develop attraction for someone of any sort. Right?”

Castiel nodded, feeling a little breathless. He took a breath, though. “Yes. So…I felt like I couldn’t come out, unless I had an example as evidence.”

“That’s crap, Cas, you don’t have to prove anything to anybody.”

“I know I don’t, but I did have an example, I was just too scared of rejection to admit it.” Castiel said quickly, and Dean’s face fell.

“…Who, Cas?”

He bit at his lip, and barely registered the distance noise of the car; the music and his pounding heart in his ears drowned it out until he finally answered.

“…You, Dean.”

Castiel only witnessed enough of the shocked look on Dean’s face to leave him feeling as if the blood had left his face, before the whole moment was interrupted by the sound of a car door slamming shut and then…

“Dean! Get your ass out here!!”

Dean was on his feet, and Castiel felt a combination of anxiety and rage as he registered that as Michael’s voice.

“C-Cas, I’m sorry, wait here, I’ll be right back.” Dean muttered, and exited the tent. Castiel could only listen as he was just frozen by his emotions; he’d just confessed having feelings for his best friend, only for the abusive asshole to have hunted Dean down to interrupt.

“What did I tell you about hanging out with that leech?” Michael spoke, and the possessive, controlling air about him and his tone was obvious and heavy.

“Mike, come on, I’ve told you, he’s not a bad guy, he’s…he’s my best friend.”

“What, is this pay back, for me wanting to have some fun when you weren’t up for it? I try to show you a good time, something NO ONE else in this town is going to show you (and I’m beginning to think it’s because you’re a prude on top of everything else), so you come fool around with the dweeb?”

“Cas has nothing to do with our problems, leave him out of it, and fucking show him some respect by using his name.” Dean spat defensively.

“What, don’t like me teasing your side-twink, huh?”

“What is wrong with you, Michael!? What have I done this time? I just came to talk to my friend!”

“Without telling me about it!”

Castiel twitched, starting to get restless.

“Sorry. I thought you’d be busy and wouldn’t want to be disturbed.…” Dean remarked.

There were heavy footfalls, rustling of clothes, and the sound of Dean grunting then.

“Don’t get smart with me, Winchester.”

There was silence, and then Dean spoke defiantly. “I’m not your goddamn property.”

“Keep it up, Dean. Who do you think is going to want you? Overcompensating, closeted dweeb, with miles of daddy issues; who’s going to actually love that? Love you? Who’s gonna look at this body, now, and not see it as tainted fag territory? Because you sure as hell ain’t gonna find another guy like me. Who is going to want you?”

Castiel was already shaking, but it was Dean’s broken voice that finally launched him beyond his frozen state and into action.

“…You can go to hell.” Dean said, voice shaking with emotion.

Cas tore out of the tent then, that song faintly and briefly echoing in his mind then as he spotted them.

Michael had Dean pulled closed by the shirt collar, though he let go with a sneer as he spotted Castiel.

Dean fixed his coat, rubbing fast and dismissively at his eyes as he spoke his name with emotion and warning. “Cas…”

“There he is, the little creep. What the hell do you think you’re doing around my boyfriend? I thought I’d made it clear you weren’t welcome around him.” Michael remarked.

Castiel was still walking towards him, and Dean got worried, taking a step as Michael laughed.

“What? What are you gonna do, little-”

Castiel punched him straight in the nose, and ignored Dean saying his name again, as he took Michael’s disoriented moment to send a right hook to Michael’s jaw, then the stomach, then he shoved him to the ground, and kicked him straight between the legs for good measure.

“Dean is MY friend! My FRIEND. He is, and always HAS been more than a dick like you deserves! You don’t deserve to feel the care he is capable of giving others! You don’t deserve to kiss him, touch him! H-he is beautiful, and strong, and amazing and you’re not worth anyone’s time, much less his! He has been and always will be worth love, and you WILL NOT continue to try and take that from him!!”

“What do you think you’re gonna do, huh?!” Michael spat around his bloody nose. “Come in, defend him, and get you some? Are you that desperate!?”

“No.” Castiel growled. “I’m just his friend. And I’m defending my friend. Because I care about him.”

Michael just scoffed before lying there, groaning. Cas hurried to grab their stuff then, and went for his bike, looking to Dean and feeling relieved when he saw Dean looking dismissively to what now had to be his ex, and then grabbing his own bike to follow Cas and then they were off, Cas leading the way.

They rode for a while, Cas not really thinking about a where until they ended up at the park.

They left their bikes and their stuff at one of the benches and Cas followed Dean as he went and sat on a swing, Castiel taking a seat on the one next to him. It was quiet for a while, before Castiel spoke.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand him…him treating you like that any longer.”

“Cas, don’t, okay?” Dean almost sounded relieved now. “ You were helping me, defending me…looking out for me.”

Castiel nodded. “I just…I couldn’t let him…keep…saying those things, they were complete crap. You…” Castiel stopped, sighing and blushing as he watched his feet.

“Cas…?”

Castiel, stomach twisting at hearing his name spoken so softly, slowly looked to Dean.

“…What you said, back there…”

“I meant every word, Dean, every word, I… I’ve been trying for months to make you realize you deserve better. From the moment I realized he just…wasn’t right. You deserve someone who can understand and appreciated you. All of you, and who can really love you, every bit of you. You deserve someone who treats you like a person, not something to flaunt, to toy with. Someone who treats you like you’re your own person, because….because fuck, everyone is their own person and should never be treated otherwise. You…you deserve someone…who can…love you right.” Castiel’s throat was getting thick as he went on. “Just…someone who loves you… You deserve-”

“You, Cas.” Dean interrupted, voice tight with emotion, and Castiel’s heart felt as if it shot out of his chest.

He felt his eyes sting, and he slowly looked to Dean, who was looking at Cas in a way he never had before and it _did_ things to Cas. His breath hitched in his throat, and he felt an overwhelming desire that he wasn’t sure was appropriate right now.

“D-Dean..?”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“..I love you. Can I…kiss you right now?” Castiel was surprised how smoothly that came out, though the words left him feeling clammy.

Dean blushed, as Cas did, but a small smile tugged at Dean’s lips then. “…Yeah, Cas…I…I love you, too.”

Castiel felt as if a pool of fire just spilled into his veins, ice following after, leaving him feeling tingly and weightless. He licked his lips and nervously leaned forward, Dean leaning and waiting patiently.

Taking a nervous breath, Cas had to lay his forehead to Dean’s. Cas was so nervous, willing himself to close the rest of the space. This felt like a fever dream right now. Until Dean spoke one last time.

“I…I’ve loved you since I kissed you, Cas…”

Castiel’s breath left him, and his eyes shut tight as they both closed the space, melting in place, lips melding so perfectly as they moved, slowly and carefully, together. Dean’s hand found Castiel’s jaw and Castiel’s hand found the back of Dean’s neck, and they stayed there in that bubble of space.

They both felt as if they were flying and their lips barely parted, because they didn’t want to lose this feeling, this moment.

They deserved it too much.


End file.
